why you ache

we never quite say what our hearts feel
often little words are left unsaid
little actions left undone
we pretend as if that doesn't hurt
we pretend as if they don't matter
but deep deep deep down
where the memories slip to and where love grows there is a hole
in that hole is where the undone deeds are
and that is where the ache in your soul grows
bc you didn't say i love you
you didn't smile or give that hug
you didn't even try
maybe we shouldn't wait anymore
maybe waiting is what is going to destroy us


where would you be if you woke up a little earlier and drove a little farther each day
where would you be if you pushed and pushed for the extreme
if you fought for what you believed in
would you be the minority
or part of a majority
would you learn to obey the rules
or would you break every expectation for freedom
would you have the strength
or would you crack under the pressure
bc kid being out of the box is rough
it's those walls that define you
will you break them
or will you let them keep you in


idk if you've ever been in a place that makes your heart soar
but i have
it's almost as if it's thumping so fast
like i can't catch my breath

bc im so happy and so sad and so excited and so confused yet smiling 

it's like the emotions are choking me
and my heart keeps racing
my smile keeps smiling

dedicated to the sis in the pic bc she said that about the smile

things you're told

it's true
there are things that you
only understand
when you are older
i used to think it was a joke
just something adults said
so i would leave them be
but no
it's true
there are realities that you
only are able to fully see
until you have matured and grown
seen a little bit of the grim world

what's going to happen
once i get even older
im only seventeen

we've become this

how have we become a culture
where we must post our feelings
images we've taken
to prove that we have friends
to show that we travel and explore
to be our perfected us
we edit and squish
layer black and white to seem more dramatic
in forgetting that insta doesn't have to be perfect
our makeup doesn't have to be on fleek
our texting lingo on point
we put ourselves into a spot
one that we locked ourselves into
bc honestly
we've created this haven't we

yellow flower

i woke up and started to cry
it wasn't that i had a bad dream
nothing horrid had happened at all
more like
in said dream
i had wanted a yellow flower
but it had blown away
it was just a dried flower
why would i cry over that

true power

there lives a Being
more mighty than man

He stands taller than the trees
breathes life for us to inhale
His voice echoes like a canyon 
His heartbeat shakes the ground

He is the image of the invisible God
the firstborn over all
He was before
and is after
He delivered us from darkness
which strangled us
dragging us farther and farther from light

He did this by shining love 
in the hole
which we dug ourselves into 
He found us there
and holding shovels in hand

evidence against us
we fought anyways
only to drop the shovels

leaving emptiness for love
darkness for light
ache for forgiveness 

no longer are we alone
for Jesus has come